Owning Feminism

I've been a stout feminist since I could spell the word. I grew up with parents that taught me to always value myself and defend what I believed in. My mother introduced me to spirituality and ritual that honors and reveres divine feminine energy. Clearly, the road to owning my feminism wasn't destined to be hard. And over the past year or two I've really started exploring exactly what it means to me to be a feminist. I mean, people have treated that word with pride, fear, disdain, reverence-I've seen it all. But do those people, even those who view feminism kindly, participate in much introspection about what the concept means to them? So many people treat it like some outdated, stodgy subject of academia, not like the living, breathing drive that it is. In my search for what other people tell us feminism means, I've developed a firmer grasp on what it is to me, and what I hope it can be for future generations of women.

Firstly, let me explain that my infatuation with feminism blossomed into love when I saw the movie "Iron Jawed Angels" with Hillary Swank. If you haven't seen it, you need to. Seriously, Hillary is a fucking rock star as my idol, Alice Paul, and I dare you to not feel moved during the scenes of the protests in front of the White House. Powerful stuff. But I digress. The movie chronicles the struggles Alice Paul and co. endured trying to push women's suffrage as an amendment to the constitution at the beginning of the 20th century. Seeing the trials those women endured in their tireless struggle for ALL women, not just themselves, brought to life on screen reminded of a Greek proverb I'm rather fond of: Society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in. When you realize the sacrifices someone who didn't know you made for your sake, it's not possible to feel anything except immense, inexpressible gratitude. And a sense that you owe them something; you owe it to them to take advantage of every opportunity they helped give you and every opportunity they didn't have available to them.

So fast-forward 100 years later and where are we? Scrapping and clawing tooth and nail (and in some cases-not) to hold onto rights that have been affirmed in our country 30-40 years plus. Listening to Rush Limbaugh call Sandra Fluke a slut for demanding accessible reproductive health care for women (though I do have a theory that he is an undercover liberal. I mean all the publicity Fluke got because of that statement? We owe him such a muffin basket. Thanks Rush!). Don't even get me started on being subjected to vaginal ultrasounds in order to receive an abortion. And with what I DO choose to label as a War on Women still raging on, I see far too many women, too many willing and potential feminists, bitching and bickering among themselves about the right way to promote our cause. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! There is no perfect method for anything in our imperfect world! Why can't we come together, disagree perhaps, but support each other regardless because if we can't even support each other, how can we expect others to support us in promoting the rights of women? In the spirit of the always controversial Caitlin Moran, I'm going to say this: this world needs plurality! We can't going around always wondering, "Is everyone included? Is everyone happy? Is everything perfect?" That's statistically impossible. Still I don't believe there is any such thing as "special interests." In a world of interdependence, special interests are pure fallacy. If we want to succeed, we need to make sure others do as well. And because I truly believe in the power women can wield, especially when cooperating as a collective, I propose the following:  Women everywhere need to forge ahead the best way they know how, and when other women notice a hole in their work, or a group not noticed, then they need to grab that as their opportunity to make change, instead of expecting others too and complaining when they don't. Stop being afraid of stepping on toes and get down, dirty, and abrasive. It's a great catalyst for change. 

Which brings me to my final point. To me, feminism is about the love I have for myself and for other women. It's about celebrating and supporting one another's differences, while realizing and reveling in our similarities and the things that reaffirm our mutual work for equality. It helps me to realize my own dreams, and to remind me that no hurdle is too big. It's given me a deep appreciation for being a woman and all the good and bad things that coincide with such a privilege. It has opened my eyes to the power we hold as a collective and that we are not, as so many people have suggested over the years, a weaker or inferior sex. It gives me appreciation for all of the accomplishments of the women who have gone before us, and the determination needed for bettering this world for our daughters (and sons). Feminism, my friends, means everything.

Now these women knew the value of a little controversy: